Posts Tagged ‘Haunts’

Haven’t had a clue what the date has been for a while… sometimes I did, for like when filling in forms or having appointments or meetings to attend – I’d sleep and POOF! I wake up unknown to the date once again. So Happy 1st of the Month and Happy April Fools! ­čÖé

I made a courageous step a few days ago and I thought what I was feeling was regret, but it turns out that I’m just scared. When we open doors to haunting things – well, who wants to do that?!? We some up how pointless it was – how typing it out/writing it/speaking about it makes you cry inside (or for many, outside too), how the pain all rushes back which for some reason makes me so angry, how it makes you want to just wanna stop and crawl into a hole…

I actually got angry at the people I shared my story with – secretly. I can laugh at it now, but there’s something about┬áhearing positive stuff when you’re down that really bugs me. Could have screamed but I’m not the screaming type! :p

Days have passed now and I can’t say I have the intention to approach the topic again – nor solve the mess… sigh.

I’ve probably got this completely wrong (more time – YES!) but I woke up this morning, decided to cheer up and now I┬áfeel totally refreshed! Am I kidding myself?! Can it be that simple?? I want it to be! I NEED it to be! I just don’t know┬áhow to solve inner issues that steal my joy daily, manipulate my emotions and my perspective on life, cause me to step out the social-circle a couple times a month because I don’t like the possibility of bring others down when I am…. Demanding myself to be happy and not to think too much seems perfect!

So can this month be opening to new things – the concept of it being┬áthe blossoming season makes it a perfect fit to waking up each morning WANTING to blossom and enjoy my day!

I must be dilusional…

I was creeped out last night and the night before by memories of old time horror shows and movies! Why I watched these particular ones in the first place is beyond me – but it happened …. and I am scarred!

The one that came up: “The Blob”

The thing is, it is so unreal in every way and can be seen as hilarious from an angle – there is an element within it that really eats you up at night or alone. Or is that just me?

All I know is as much as it made no sense, the thought of a huge, big ol’ goo ball rolling up (ever so sloooooowly I might add) and consuming me with no remains, petrified me!

Yeah, the dramatised full volumed music and the high-pitched didn’t make it any better for me either… sigh.

Personally, I knew that in the same situation I could easily outrun that thing – which I successful achieve in my dreams too – so I’m good ­čÖé

But you know what was worse, that sticks in my head even more? Twilight Zone! Ugh! I can’t remember how I ended up watch some of them, but I wish I just went to bed early….. instead I think I wanted to be grown and be all up in the mix – Nuh uh! I wish I went to bed.

It was just sick and twisted! I remember kids onscreen suddenly turning round to reveal they had no mouths, the creepy episode with a girl hating patterns because people came through wall, Talky Tina, that ventriloquist puppet, that voice at the other end of the phone line, and that episode where this guy was the only person alive on earth…. Wow – Only those that watched it would find some of these familiar.

I was going to fish out the theme tune but I can’t bring myself to do it! Argh!

I decided at the beginning of the year to stop watching these kind of movies altogether – Many have made the same decisions in life. My reasons, hmmm… because they make you think ways you shouldn’t think, they create unnecessary fears (as if the ones we have already aren’t enough!) and they steal my joy – there you have it!

Horror films just don’t cut it now┬ádays, anyway. The reason must lie in the twisted story-lines, the abrupt “there’s-just-no-need” music, and the over-acting…. Now, I could watch a horror movie and still sleep at night. I think we now mainly create them to scare and make people flinch, whereas back then it was all about get into our minds and provoking our thoughts in ways that made our skin crawl.

You elders are sick – SICK I TELLS YA! ((shake fist))