Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Work n Not Much Play

Posted: November 29, 2009 in Experiences, Future, Life
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This week took so long to complete itself. I did my first HOUR at my placement last Monday. Really, it was only an hour. My new boss was late. I waited upto 30mins in the hallway, outside his office, while it felt like certain bypassers where working some strange looks in my direction. To entertain my time I listened to my mp3 and tweeted my playlist… I know, sad!
I decided to head back to reception where someone could give him a call or ask around but the number they had for him was a deadend. I had the sudden urge to just leave and put it down to the fact I was there early and waited so long blah blah blah but I knew that would fall back on me in some way. So I sucked it up and headed to my tutor’s office, hoping she was in that day, to let her know that I had waited. I knew what was going to happen – I knew she was gonna give him a call to see where he was. Apparently he was at a school having a meeting then got stuck in traffic. It was around 3ish at that point and he asked me to wait up for him… He would be an hour!
I was a tad bit annoyed about it all because I don’t think he took the responsibility side of it very well ,yet the waiting was OK as I got to help myself to the machine that gives out free coffee, the vendor that gives out free snacks, listen to some more music while day-dreaming about the new iPod waiting for me at home (I signed off for a package as I was heading out.)
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Back 2 Business!

Posted: November 23, 2009 in Future, Life, People, Struggle
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Now that I’m busy and doing stuff I finally have something to blog about! Whew!

Story so far goes some like…
I’m back at college now, doing a course in Business Administration. The plans I had set failed miserable and made me miserable w/ it! So I had to work w/ the “system” and do something, anything!
The course will at least help w/ getting a decent job next year (fingers crossed), then I can get started on bigger things.

Been real tough. Had to fight w/ myself and my ways b/c I really do take things hard when it comes to accepting alternatives to my own. That comes w/ me wasting so much time and energy bringing everything down just to suit my miserable, pessimistic self – I’m awesome at that!

However, God leads me through so many battle fields and, as much as I highlight the struggles, worse case scenarios, and whatnot, He puts up w/ it and never punishes me for my insults and disrespect of His works. That’s the tolerance I dream about having, trust me!

I’m enjoying the course now. Huge things have blossomed from this new direction, including being offered to be a PA for a Senior Director at my college after only a month and a half of showing what I’m capable of in my studies. Definitely huge! It’ll start out as a placement while I continue studying, yet, will help me tremendously if/when I further my education next year and it’ll also give a great reference in terms of experience. I’m looking to work on advancing myself by building a solid network while there – so butt kissing… here I come! Lol.

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Been a while, hmmmmm?

Posted: October 12, 2009 in Random
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I’m real busy now-a-days (though I always find time to tweet.) Things didn’t turn out like my grand plan in one of those posts below, something to explain when I’m over it! lol

I last mentioned my brother’s wedding, right? Well that went well – didn’t  twist an ankle in the heels I wore, Shay looked crazy cute in his formal outfit! He was such a handful, and I may of cried about it *shhhhh* but hey!

I think I need to find time to structure my posts properly – time to ressurrect this poor excuse for a blog!!! That includes the other one too – lol.

 

 

p.s. Glad Jordan won Big Brother – I was very happy 🙂

Big Brother and Wedding Stuff

Posted: August 1, 2009 in Life, People, TV
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I’ll publicly admit that I maybe slightly obsessed with Big Brother… Now before you all gasp, I’ve only kept up with my one (UK) because it’s the 10yr anniversary plus I haven’t been into it for the last 4/5 yrs. As for the US version, it is so much better – taking about nomination WILL NOT get you punished, game-planning is ALLOWED and everyone seems a lot more sane. In the UK, they purposely put challenging, weird people in the house for “entertainment” purposes and then… well… that’s about it!

I remember when Big Brother USA was shown on TV over here – I think it was Season 4- I’m not sure if they had broadcast the previous seasons. They didn’t show anymore after that year, which was disappointing. 😦 Now I’ve gotta catch-up on YouTube the morning after each episode thanks to MenOfBigBrother7!

I am NOT an addict!!! Oh yeah, Siavash to win in UK – Bea and Lisa to go ASAP, and either Natalie or Jeff to win in USA – Ronnie to go ASAP. Russell is growing on me for some strange reason. Lydia was a fave at the begininng but I’m starting to change my mind. Hmmm… Kevin winning won’t disappoint me either.

Besides a few films and Friends re-runs I don’t watch anything else. I still get crazy ill, on/off, but seems to have slowed down a bit. I somehow feel disappointed because I lost a lot of weight I wanted to lose during those time, but my mindset is so very wrong and twisted so I take it back. It’s one of those ” I don’t believe buy it” type things to hear but like I keep saying, unless you see it or hear it from someone who has, don’t judge me and call me a liar – that’s hurtful and inconsiderate and frankly,  unnecessary.

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‘Sup?

Posted: July 19, 2009 in Life
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I’ve finally started to have a more productive life! Yay to me! In the process, I have lost touch with a huge amount of people. I’m working my way up to shorting the distance created – for some it means sucking up and putting aside my pride. What I’m struggling with in this area is just what to say…

I have already sent off all the necessary papers I needed to post. this includes renewal forms for financial stuff (which I sent in late :-s), college/uni applications, subscriptions etc. My mail pile no long exists and I am over the moon because it made my front room look messy and cluttered.

For the past few weeks I’ve really paid attention to organisation: found homes for things that I’ve allowed to just lie around on the coffee table, boxed up important paperwork such as bills in categories and date. I’m trying to encourage Shay to put toys away – I know he’s young but he participates when he sees me picking up his toys and putting the back in the box. I’ve caught him doing it himself which is great. He even applauds himself too! Lol!

I’ve spent a lot of my time writing and studying. Writing down thoughts, listing future goals, even things I wish to say to certain people but refrain from doing so because it’s either bad timing right now, unnecessary yet feel I need to let it out safely or sometimes it goes hand-in-hand with future goals and it’s a reminder of what I want to do. As for the lists, it’s self-explanatory really: What I would like to accomplish, what need to be down (reminders), goals, and even strange things like words to look up, films I want to see, books I want to get my hands on, necessary growth and things to conquer as a person… it goes on.

Studying is in reference to Biblical studies. I’ve been working on self-discipline and it’s something that plays a huge part in my social life. Like everyone else, I have so much to learn and understand so I’m not going to act like I’m the only one BUT I do know myself and so my approach can be a lot more drastic than others. I know if I don’t become strict with myself with this, it’s not going to happen and like many times in the past, my faith fades.

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An Eeeeeek of a day!

Posted: May 20, 2009 in Random, Troubles
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First thing: When visiting my blog to reply to comments today, I noticed that the Friends video got disabled! It made me laugh because I distinctly remember the video not having an embedded code on YouTube – the person who uploaded the footage disabled that option. But then I thought, well hang on a sec! WordPress doesn’t need that anyway, I just need to URL so it was a win-win IMO!! LOL

Yeah, I must have got caught out or something so I had to replace it with another one which, on my laptop, freezes a little – don’t know if that’s me or…Eeek #1

THEN – While watching the video, for the 7th time in the last three days my laptop froze on me! I think it has something to do with my new wireless hub because I’ve never had this problem before and it’s the only change this laptop has been through recently. But then I somehow think it’s something to do with FireFox… I’m not sure but whatever it is, it’s interfering with the security – After doing the “Ctrl-Alt-Delete” to then be lead to a black screen, waiting about 20mins for something to show up, a pop-up about failed security something comes up. Eeek #2! On the plus side, while troubleshooting my Vaio online, I came across my next “must-get” (because I can afford it) gadget!!! So pretty!! 7″ touch screen, SLiding QWERTY Keyboard, Intel Core Solo Chip, WAN, Wi Fi, Bluetooth, 3G, Two cameras, Windows XP Pro, HDMI Port and probably more stuff…. I know I probably don’t NEED it but DANG! That’s a sexy-looking piece of technology! Sony Vaio UX 🙂

While I was faffing around dealing with all this stuff and almost dribbling onto my laptop, lil’bug didn’t get much attention. I left him inAwkward to say the least... his highchair eating a yogurt, which I think he finished 45secs after giving it to him, he was so quiet I had forgot all about him… and well look! I know many kids can sleep through anything, and many times in very weird positions incl. standing up with their head on the table (something I cracked up about when mine did it!) but I am willing to admit how wrong this is and yes, I do feel guilty. I quickly took a pic and transferred him to his cotbed 😦 Eeek #3

Lastly: To make this day even more eeek, I just found out that one of my very back teeth at top is missing some! It got chipped months ago and I ignored it – but then last night I started to feel a slight pain and now I’ve just realised that the chip is now a hole!!! Freaked me out when I successfully led my tongue back there to see what was going on. This is gonna mean loosing a tooth. *Sniff*It is a wisdom tooth so it’s not a real loss, I guess. Plus, when I got pregnant in 2007 I was real smart and got a health plan for myself and the fetus-with-no-name (at the time) meaning I don’t have to worry too much about dental costs because I can claim it back afterwards! Eeek #4 but YAY for thinking ahead two years ago! 🙂

Haven’t had a clue what the date has been for a while… sometimes I did, for like when filling in forms or having appointments or meetings to attend – I’d sleep and POOF! I wake up unknown to the date once again. So Happy 1st of the Month and Happy April Fools! 🙂

I made a courageous step a few days ago and I thought what I was feeling was regret, but it turns out that I’m just scared. When we open doors to haunting things – well, who wants to do that?!? We some up how pointless it was – how typing it out/writing it/speaking about it makes you cry inside (or for many, outside too), how the pain all rushes back which for some reason makes me so angry, how it makes you want to just wanna stop and crawl into a hole…

I actually got angry at the people I shared my story with – secretly. I can laugh at it now, but there’s something about hearing positive stuff when you’re down that really bugs me. Could have screamed but I’m not the screaming type! :p

Days have passed now and I can’t say I have the intention to approach the topic again – nor solve the mess… sigh.

I’ve probably got this completely wrong (more time – YES!) but I woke up this morning, decided to cheer up and now I feel totally refreshed! Am I kidding myself?! Can it be that simple?? I want it to be! I NEED it to be! I just don’t know how to solve inner issues that steal my joy daily, manipulate my emotions and my perspective on life, cause me to step out the social-circle a couple times a month because I don’t like the possibility of bring others down when I am…. Demanding myself to be happy and not to think too much seems perfect!

So can this month be opening to new things – the concept of it being the blossoming season makes it a perfect fit to waking up each morning WANTING to blossom and enjoy my day!

I must be dilusional…