Archive for March, 2009

What to say?

Posted: March 30, 2009 in Eye-Opener, God/Faith, Life, Revelation, Trust
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Would have posted something sooner but the week took a toll on me – everything and everyone! Plus, my connection has been kinda slow so I’ve been resorting to handheld devices to interact rather than my laptop – there’s my excuse for the blog neglection! 🙂

One of the main things I have come to realise this week is how even the bad things people do is good for someone else. Go figure, huh?! So when people have brought me down, angered me, hurt me, whatever else – I somehow have to press through and thank God for that! Sometimes saying thanks during those times is thankfulness in advance… sometimes a relief because we saw how things could have been worse.

What’s difficult about that is we don’t like being that way! Seeing the brighter and bigger side isn’t everyones taste. It means we must think and do with a purpose, accept ourselves as a purpose and allow ourselves to be of a purpose, not to forget the purpose is beyond us completely. Also involves believeing in justice though it may not come straight away nor in the way we desired, hope and faith in better experiences and encounters, believing in something or someone better than all of us put together AND some! Oh and importantly, believing in the design of life – where it leads.

I would be nothing right now without the knowledge of the “bigger picture”. Would have given up on others and myself.

It gave me the tolerance to put up with things, the humility to put them aside and respect to the things that are good.

Still, I’m nowhere near a master of this perspective. I’m crumbling even now!

Thought I’d just say it anyway… you know, since I chose purpose a while ago so then something about my thoughts MUST be something for someone… right? :p

Seriously, I don’t do much in my free-time that is worth any attention on this blog… sigh – but if you insist! :p

I think I’m a pretty great bum because I do very little and complain about it. Do you think my friends receive calls from me? Nope – theycomplain all the time “Where have you been hiding?!” And I’ll respond “At home!” as if to say – DUH! Occassionally I will pick up the phone – I mostly stare at it while it rings thinking how I really can’t be bothered, then when I see them I complain about the parties, social gatherings and jokes I missed out on. Now I just don’t get told! LOL! I just have to be there when things get arranged or pick up the phone and hope that this person will inform me somehow if something is coming up.

What do I do? Hmmmm… I read A LOT! Sit A LOT! Maybe turn on the TV but I gotta check the schedule first to see if it’s worth the use of electricity. I day dream – hmm…sometimes. Play Sims 2. And the remainder contains a lot of twittering. I snack like crazy (but thankfully no weight is gained!) I am always sleepy which gives me an excuse not to do much. When not working I can easily get up, eat, go back to bed and YAY its evening time! I still do the housework – much more than some – so I’m not a total waste of  space.

Life, I believe, has been sucks out of me! I have no motivation whatsoever to do anything productive (besides the reading, I guess) and complain about it. Gosh, my life has been very lazy recently and I can feel the depression slowly creeping up on me… I have a lot of time on my hands – work doesn’t take up too much right now.

I love my BF – he sometimes accompanies me in my bumness – I hope it doesn’t rub off on him too much because I’m looking to switch things up real soon.

I guess we all have our weeks or for some, months. Once we get back into the things that define living life – we enter it so refreshed and restored – ready to take over the world and ain’t no rain gonna stop you!

See that’s why I’m proud of being a bum 🙂 I’m gonna take over the world in T minus 7 days!!! Until then, y’all gotta put up with my boring rambling :p

It wasn’t that normal random sneeze. Far from random when it was followed with two more sneeze and a irritating sniffle. Maaayn, I should have guessed from last night when I had the itchy throat!! Shocking!

HAYFEVER, nooooooo! It’s too early, right?! Well the weather has been surprisingly great – clear sky, warm sunny but a little chilly here and there – enough to take a hike in a tee, that’s for sure!

Haven’t checked the pollen count yet – I’m scared it might be nothing and find myself the odd one out again.

Use to have it real bad back in school. When we did sports on the grass, I remember one time my eyes swelled up so bad they looked like golf ball with slits! I was like “Are my eyes open?? I can see you, are they OK?! Why are you all backing away from me?” Everyone looked at me in disgust and acted as if I was contagious 😦
I couldn’t even shed a tear out of fear because it would sting! Ewwwwwww… My eyes where like…. so…. ewwww sticky.

Eye drops, at that time, I thought would be the death of my sight! They were so harsh – crazy how meds to soothe and protect you from infections could bring so much pain – 3 or 4 times a stinking day!!!

I learned to art of splash cold water on my eyes when they began to irritate, so that prevented that scenario from having a replay in life again! Phew! The only thing I had to deal with instead was the red eyes – I would look so evil and wouldn’t have a clue my eyes had turned colour. So obviously the reaction of the golf ball eyes was merely a practice run to the reactions to deal with when looking possessed with bright red eyes! The slightly puff bags under my eyes just topped it off like frosting!

The worst days of my life. Maybe that’s what drove me to love Winters – I don’t know – maybe. Never thought about it like that. Winter is my all time favourite season, hands down!

I’ve pretty much grown Hayfever out, I think. I have a couple of days when my eyes feel itchy, and my nose behaves like I’m coming down with a cold – sometimes even stuffy and unbearable at night –

but I take the ridiculously tiny pills once a day, plus a few Piriton when I feel it kicking in – which leaves me free to skip along through the meadows with a basket of flowers (so to speak) singing the”Sound of Music” at the top of my lunges! (Not really guys – come on! Look at the picture **shakes head)

I just pray my lil’ man doesn’t have to deal with it at all during his life… 🙂

I was creeped out last night and the night before by memories of old time horror shows and movies! Why I watched these particular ones in the first place is beyond me – but it happened …. and I am scarred!

The one that came up: “The Blob”

The thing is, it is so unreal in every way and can be seen as hilarious from an angle – there is an element within it that really eats you up at night or alone. Or is that just me?

All I know is as much as it made no sense, the thought of a huge, big ol’ goo ball rolling up (ever so sloooooowly I might add) and consuming me with no remains, petrified me!

Yeah, the dramatised full volumed music and the high-pitched didn’t make it any better for me either… sigh.

Personally, I knew that in the same situation I could easily outrun that thing – which I successful achieve in my dreams too – so I’m good 🙂

But you know what was worse, that sticks in my head even more? Twilight Zone! Ugh! I can’t remember how I ended up watch some of them, but I wish I just went to bed early….. instead I think I wanted to be grown and be all up in the mix – Nuh uh! I wish I went to bed.

It was just sick and twisted! I remember kids onscreen suddenly turning round to reveal they had no mouths, the creepy episode with a girl hating patterns because people came through wall, Talky Tina, that ventriloquist puppet, that voice at the other end of the phone line, and that episode where this guy was the only person alive on earth…. Wow – Only those that watched it would find some of these familiar.

I was going to fish out the theme tune but I can’t bring myself to do it! Argh!

I decided at the beginning of the year to stop watching these kind of movies altogether – Many have made the same decisions in life. My reasons, hmmm… because they make you think ways you shouldn’t think, they create unnecessary fears (as if the ones we have already aren’t enough!) and they steal my joy – there you have it!

Horror films just don’t cut it now days, anyway. The reason must lie in the twisted story-lines, the abrupt “there’s-just-no-need” music, and the over-acting…. Now, I could watch a horror movie and still sleep at night. I think we now mainly create them to scare and make people flinch, whereas back then it was all about get into our minds and provoking our thoughts in ways that made our skin crawl.

You elders are sick – SICK I TELLS YA! ((shake fist))

I am so glad I don’t work in a bar right now. I use to – I desire to sometimes because I miss it, but it’s inconvenient for right now.

Working in a bar on St. Patrick’s Day was just as bad as working on a match day (sports)! Another excuse for people to drink and act real nonsensical! Sometimes funny, most of the time annoying and people looooooove to get overly friendly with the staff. Ha! It would be the only time we, staff, would get away with a few abusive fire-back words or a shove or five – Lovin’ it!

I remember the sad, very very sad “special” uniforms we had to put on – to represent of course with a smile! Most of the time it would be such a simple black tee with a green shamrock at the front, and maybe a Guinness promotion on the sleeve or the back. Never having enough of the right sizes, someone was always left drowning in one or trying to don a tighty! Smiles…. never me though. Everywhere I have worked, I’ve always got on really well with the boss – no not flirting! It just meant I got privileges and sneak-peeks when stuff esp. merchandise and new uniforms got delivered. I called dibs all the time 🙂

Oh, lets not forget the lame decorations or the HATS! NOOOOO THE HATS!!

        

  – They never looked good on me! We would get called out for not being a participant or a “team player” if we refused. Ugh!

It doesn’t seem to be so crazy so far – but it’s not night time yet…. I think people have lost the meaning to this day OR is it really all about getting drunk on bitters-Irish coffees-Baileys-Guinness, spitting out Irish slang and accents, wearing green, eating anything green, drinking anything green (don’t get me started on the Absinthe!),  not forgetting the terrible dancing – or should I say a load of mindless jumping and “ewwww”-type hugging?!

Like most religious celebrations/special days, the history is absent from the minds of most who celebrate them – Can’t fault them.

 I just gonna avoid the city tonight to not get sucked in and get chatted up by a random drunk guy – I don’t give out my number which is always tricky to explain lol!

 

 

              Happy St. Patrick’s Day all!

One thing I hate experiencing is the will to pour everything out but no one there to do it with. Or even people there, but which one? How to go about it? Where to start?

So I type to survive this stormy season… I have found no freedom in the talking I’ve done so far. Kinda  why I have shut the world out the last few months. I had one hell of a summer (’08) – events that will  surely be mentioned at some point so prepare yourself.

Christians fool themselves sometimes. We tend to lean on life being all great and full of light all the time. That’s why when I see my friends fall, they fall the hardest! The Bible doesn’t say anything about such guarentee – what it talks about is us being the light to those in darkness, and us seeking the ‘light’ in our situations. I fail all the time with that one. I’m poor in my faith.

It’s why we MUST hang on – for the sake of others too. It’s something I grew up on and see as the most important in life. I can’t sit around and waste life especially when it leaves others in the gutter. I admit, I can’t possibly help everyone – yet the people in my cirlcle of life (yeah – I’m going all Lion King on ya!) are my responsibility in some way. I want to do my best by all of them, regardless of distance between us, level of our relationship and what they believe. So that’s the people I know offline and those I have met online.

So if I have to go to the extreme to get to that place to do so – I’m gonna do it! Even getting there, in itself, will do such works.

So I’m going to type EVERYTHING and Lord help me b/c this is new and challenging for me.

You would think that by the lyrics that this person is a Christian… hmmm – find and read the lyrics for yourself when you have the time.